blues in the sky...

2010-03-13T18:44:00.002+08:00

Moving On In Peace

of past, of present

2008-07-24T23:35:00.006+08:00

cleared off a lot of old files from my hard disk storage partition. spared me about another 2GB of space.

it reminded me of how much junk we can accumulate over time. well... they are not exactly junk. those files are mostly from the office where i once worked. looking back i realized how much time and energy i've put into these things, these works of mine. i tried so hard to play my role, trying to make the world a better place in the little ways i can. did they make a difference? i hope...

all seemed to eventually ate me up. so much of my life was given away, with full sincerity, with just hope, that it will make life better for someone else out there. why? i'm miserable, i'm in pain. i wish not others in my shoes and will do my best to prevent it. little care i had for myself. let me be worn out. let me be used up. sooner the better. after all, these are the only reasons i stayed. see, how little love, if none i've for myself.

let it all be done. just let me go. let me go home. i'm tired. Father...

toilet accident

2008-07-09T17:00:00.002+08:00

fell down with full impact on my right arm this morning. upper right arm is presently immobile, shoulder down to elbow. the rest seems fine. aching badly though...

i'm obviously have not been in a clear mind, called up bro after to ask for help, forgot that he is not a local so dunno which doctor to go... gee... head been foggy for the past 2 weeks... i'll just wait for a few days, if it does not get better only see doctor.

on the positive side, i discovered i can still type. i just need to drag my right arm with the left and rest the palm on the keyboard. but having to drag it to the mouse.... such trouble just to switch between mouse and keyboard control...

well, since i can still code, back to work anyway, workaholic as i am...

reminder to self: when u r using bleach, things become slippery, so watch out!

ubuntu studio boot load hang

2008-06-27T09:40:00.005+08:00

I attempted installation of Ubuntu Studio a few days ago after reading how it's meant more for multimedia developer like i am. Didn't turn out good... the system itself is good, just that it always hang at the load screen with the fancy Ubuntu Studio loading bar.

Turning off the quiet mode of the load screen i figured the error came about at "saving VESA state". There goes again my crappy S3 chipset graphic card. Funny there is no problem with this when i boot into recovery mode and opt for "resume normal boot". My best guess this has something to do with the fancy splash screen itself, something with it conflict with my fancy ancient 32MB graphic card. Solution? I have not figured a perfect one, so this is what i did:

Type the following command in terminal:

gksudo gedit /boot/grub/menu.lst

Scroll down and you will see your Grub boot option listed, something like this:


title        Ubuntu 8.04, kernel 2.6.24-19-rt
root        (hd0,2)
kernel        /boot/vmlinuz-2.6.24-19-rt root=UUID=31776be7-f8c0-4849-b3b8-157ab157bc7a ro quiet splash
initrd        /boot/initrd.img-2.6.24-19-rt
quiet

Just delete the following words: quiet, splash
and comment out the last line in the section by adding "#"

It will turn out like this:

title        Ubuntu 8.04, kernel 2.6.24-19-rt
root        (hd0,2)
kernel        /boot/vmlinuz-2.6.24-19-rt root=UUID=31776be7-f8c0-4849-b3b8-157ab157bc7a ro
initrd        /boot/initrd.img-2.6.24-19-rt
#quiet

The load for the selected (edited) Grub loader option will then be in verbose mode. No more fancy loading bar, but at least now it works!

deletion

2008-06-10T21:54:00.002+08:00

deleted my friendster account

deleted my hi5 account

deactivated my facebook account

why? is started with this:
http://roncjl.blogspot.com/2007/12/letter-to-you.html

now can i delete myself?
wish it's that easy...

drift

2008-06-09T23:28:00.002+08:00

the traveling between world and selves, that's what it's been for the past weeks. how i wonder if this will ever come to an end... the journey against the tide is so tiring...

Father, You are my anchor. On You i steadfastly hold, but hold me Father all the more lest i loose. Amen.

mememe

2008-06-05T18:17:00.010+08:00

saw this at Do's:i wanted one, so presenting myself:

don't sue me Do! :p

know and live

2008-05-30T20:05:00.002+08:00

Must I be carried to the skies
On flowery beds of ease,
While others fought to win the prize
And sailed through bloody seas?
—Watts

home...

2008-05-29T21:07:00.002+08:00

is where you are. i miss the time when we will walk together, hand in hand. i miss the comforting hug you will give. i miss seeing the smile on your face. i miss all the time we will be together. i miss you. i love you. when will i go home to you? how long more do you want me here, for my love to you? i miss home.

i'm sorry. it is just sometimes sensing and knowing your omnipresence is not enough, i'm not perfect yet...

estranged, renewed

2008-05-13T21:52:00.005+08:00

I received this e-card from a dear friend:

I've been missing, yes, i know. It's been almost 2 months since my last entry. Sometimes it makes me wonder as to how time seems to pass so fast. It seemed only yesterday that i was attending one of my favorite lectures. Yet today i woke up with an inexplicable feeling of estrangement. Time has changed, the semester holiday is over, new semester begins. I've changed.

The past 2 months seemed almost like an adventure in the dark. I had no idea what i was into. The many times i fell. Sometimes on hard solid ground, at times on mushy soft soil. The steps i took in the blind. Some have left me with blisters, and some scars for life. Too many times i stepped on blazingly hot ground. It felt almost like hell. My feet had no rest from the pain, but i had nowhere to turn to. I could not see. It was all pitch black. I was hopeless.

But he reached out and held me tight. His reassuring grip kept me from losing myself and falling to the scorching ground. He held me tight every time i was about to fall. He assured me my time is yet to come. He walked with me. I saw his feet scorched as he walked along my side, yet he did not let go. It was a painstaking quiet walk. But that was all i needed. With every step, my love for him grew so much deeper.

I'm not sure if i am out of the dark yet. Sometimes i can still feel the burning pain. But i know he will definitely always be there for me. The journey this far have definitely changed me. I am not who i was. I hope not, hope never will be again. Ever since, i've been in love with him. Loving him anew and still growing in it. Whenever i tell him "i love you" it now comes from my heart, no longer just words to please him.

At moments when i am void and incapacitated of feeling, he showed me there is so much more to love than just feelings. He poured out his love on me. I experienced it. He is true to his words. Love is indeed so much more. It is something indescribable, at best i can only say it is the piece to completeness.

And shortly after, he blessed me with a new love. A brother whom i love so much in light of this new understanding, who reciprocally love. Only then i experienced and truly understood love can only be at its best when reciprocated. The rest will come.

Let my love vow to him be renewed:

Father in heaven, i acknowledge my sinful self, my corrupted sinful nature. I acknowledge myself as a sinner, doomed for eternity without your saving grace. I confess my sins to you Father. All my sins Father, big and small, please forgive me. As i so too learn to forgive as You have forgiven me. I believe and trust in Your saving grace Father. I believe with all my heart in the sacrifice Your Son Jesus has made for us, for me. I invite Jesus to come into my heart Father. O Jesus, please fill me with Your presence. Let the throne of my heart be to You and You alone. Let it be Yours now and forever. I surrender my all to You Lord God Jesus. I willingly give myself to Your perfect love. Teach me to love You more and more everyday Jesus. I love You.
In Jesus' name i pray. Amen.

Thank you for holding me together Jesus, even at times when i think all hell will break loose on me. Thank you for keeping me strong in this journey to home, to you. I love you Jesus.

moments with You

2008-03-22T02:32:00.004+08:00

it's one of those moments. i was just driving home after a supper with church friends. i'm aware my license has expired, but i told myself i'll drive in faith. it's been almost a week i've been in seclusion for a certain agony. it's easter and i missed these people, especially my brothers. it so happened there was a police check just across my home. the car in front of me was asked to pull aside. but when the police approached me, seeing my door glass was wound down he smiled and asked "pergi mana dik? (where are you going young man?);" i replied "balik rumah, i tinggal kat sana (going home, i live right there)," i said as i pointed across the road. he nodded at me and told me to just go ahead. thanking him and wishing him a good night, i drove ahead; breaking into little smile and giggles along the way.

it's just lovely Dad, these little moments when You show that You are indeed with me, it keeps me going. thank you Dad, i love You.

evil

2008-03-19T04:34:00.003+08:00

must fight, must not lose...
Father, forgive me, i need You...

2008-03-16T14:02:00.002+08:00

a broken's healing

You broke me to the pieces
and to the dust You pound me
what great pain it brings
Lord, to this heart of mine

but then i saw it, the tears
in Your eyes, Your hands
trembling, as You took upon me
once again for the many times

pieces by pieces, dust by dust
none amiss for great is Your love
together once again You put
to be shaped in Your love

o Lord how wrong i've been
to think i've been forsaken
for You never do
and never once willed so

for now i see what You brought me to
the plans You have to mould
to make me what i am meant to
a shape closer to Your heart

o Father, thank You for Your love
i pray Thy will be done
for now and ever
on earth as in heaven

in Jesus' name

amen

2008-03-11T00:03:00.010+08:00

a broken's prayer

to the pieces You broke me Father
to the powders You pound me still
for what have i done wrong Lord Father
that You so sought me out with the steel

broken as i am, i come to You
and all i am, i surrender to You
on my knees i fall before You o Lord, face down
in my submission to You o Lord, i break down

Father, see the tears on the floor
how i have made it wet
with the waters that pours
from my face now all wet

o Lord o God, why the silence
have You forsaken me
in these times of pestilence
will all alone You leave me

speak Lord please, for Your servant listens
kneeling before You in fears and tears

o Lord, in Jesus' name i beg

amen

--------------------------------------------------------

i had it. the unbearable pain. the dark night of the soul. it's out with the tears i've cried. my eyes are ugly swollen. yet, the sadness remains, unexplained. i'll bear the shame.

the above came to me as i cried. i have a feeling i came across some of those lines somewhere. i may have plagiarized. it's unintentional and i'm sorry. please let me know if those lines are yours, and i thank you for the beautiful expressive writing.

i, i...

2008-02-27T01:08:00.003+08:00

please, no more, h...

Rowan Williams

2008-02-20T12:37:00.003+08:00

I finally get around to reading this post by a very dear brother. I recommend reading it to you all out there. I'm looking forward to reading more of it soon, now back to academia demands...

fuah...

2008-02-17T07:37:00.004+08:00

Didn't sleep for a whole night, spent 5 hours plus to scan 200 plus of pages. I have no idea i can be so industrious o_O

Thanks to the hours spent at PERKOBP doing sealing and packaging, it really did train my patience and perseverance in doing mechanical robotic jobs (all those senseless repetitive motions, no wonder factory workers at production line really like staring at the clock, eagerly waiting for an off time...)

Mom dad, thanks for the new HP Deskjet F4185 All-in-one printer! ^_^
(not that there's much choice, the old canon printer is really dying :P)

social loafing

2008-02-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

I'm presently (and temporarily) a social loafer for my group class assignments. Please ~~kick me hard~~ help me move, and please do it out of love as a friend, not out of contempt neither simply for the sake of the assignments! The least you can do is pray for me and let me know that you are. Thank you dear ones.

The Wounds Of A Friend

2008-02-12T10:27:00.000+08:00

February 11, 2008

ODB RADIO: Listen Now | Download

READ: 2 Samuel 12:1-13

Faithful are the wounds of a friend. —Proverbs 27:6

About this cover

Not everyone appreciates correction, but David did. He felt indebted to those who corrected him and realized how much he owed them. “Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. Let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it” (Ps. 141:5).

Correction is a kindness, David insists, a word that suggests an act of loyalty. Loyal friends will correct one another, even when it’s painful and disruptive to relationships to do so. It’s one of the ways we show love and help one another to grow stronger. As Proverbs 27:6 states: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”

It takes grace to give godly correction; it takes greater grace to receive it. Unlike David, who accepted Nathan’s correction (2 Sam. 12:13), we’re inclined to refuse it. We resent the interference; we do not want to be found out. But if we accept the reproof, we will find that it does indeed become “excellent oil” on our heads, an anointing that makes our lives a sweet aroma wherever we go.

Growth in grace sometimes comes through the kind but unpleasant correction of a loyal friend. Do not refuse it, for “he who receives correction is prudent” (Prov. 15:5) and “wise” (9:8-9). —David H. Roper

When others give us compliments,
They are so easy to believe;
And though it’s wise to take rebukes,
We find them harder to receive. —Sper

Correction from a loyal friend can help us change for the better.

blahblahblah

2008-01-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

woke up at 10:30 am, cleaned up workdesk till 2pm (imagine the dust and trash gathered throughout the year). went for a feast as a self reward. then worked a bit on assignment. thereafter have been stuck sucking my thumbs and biting my lips (not so literally) trying to re-install windows xp onto my computer. i do not want to reformat my entire hard disk and i bloody hell insist on having the partition my way, but apparently microsoft has another say about where their os ought to be put. i'm still trying! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christ, Be Our Light

2008-01-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

A friend blogged this, i follow suit.

1. Longing for light, we wait in darkness.
Longing for truth, we turn to you.
Make us your own, your holy people,
light for the world to see.

Refrain:
Christ, be our light! Shine in our hearts.
Shine through the darkness.
Christ, be our light!
Shine in your church gathered today.

2. Longing for peace, our world is troubled.
Longing for hope, many despair.
Your word alone has power to save us.
Make us your living voice.

3. Longing for food, many are hungry.
Longing for water, many still thirst.
Make us your bread, broken for others,
shared until all are fed.

4. Longing for shelter, many are homeless.
Longing for warmth, many are cold.
Make us your building, sheltering others,
walls made of living stone.

5. Many the gifts, many the people,
many the hearts that yearn to belong.
Let us be servants to one another,
making your kingdom come

follow the Light

2008-01-14T17:05:00.001+08:00

feel like saying

2008-01-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

Robbie passed away last night, there was not much for the funeral. His five teens and wife 'recycled the protein'. He's been a good father and husband, he probably wished for it as well. I just cleaned their cage, albeit they did a good job recycling (leaving only the furry leather behind, which i had to throw away), there's an unpleasant smell of carcass.

My new semester started. I'm excited as i'm running full throttle. But just as much another part of me is really breaking down to pieces, with me rushing to put the pieces back more often than not. Leaving me little time to do other matters.

I'm finding it difficult to post blogs as it is. Hence, i'm starting to write entries offline and posting it online whenever i can. Which results in some entries popping here and there, since i'm keeping the posting date as the date i wrote the entry, not the date it's posted online.

I actually got mad at someone over the phone and hung up on him. Sometimes i do snap. Please watch out and just give me a smile if i snap at you. I will come to my senses and apologize (if i'm wrong). Else, do confront me, i don't want to lose any of you.

I wanted to enter the 'Inkscape - About Screen Contest' but did not manage the time. The sickness during the holiday really had me, it costed me 10 days in full measure. Which means there was quite a list of other things i could not manage during the holiday. Of which, i'm presently rushing to catch up as well.

Finally met up with a friend's friend. We drove off to Putrajaya botanical park last thursday, both drenched ourselves under the rain, deliberately, and it seemed we both enjoyed the occasion. It was a very nice long walk under the rain, very de-stressing, had not had it for a very very long time. I look forward to spending more time with him.

And the thought of taking an oath for priesthood is crossing my mind rather often for the past months... should i? I'd like to discuss this with someone, but who should it be?

Unto This Last

2008-01-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

I've been reading 'Unto This Last' by John Ruskin. It's a very interesting book on the ideas of wealth. It's after reading this book that Gandhi was prompted to launch the Phoenix Settlement back in his days.

Look at a paragraph below from Essay IV of the book:
[I've added the bolding and underlining, hoping it will help you understand the paragraph]

The real science of political economy, which has yet to be distinguished from the bastard science, as medicine from witchcraft, and astronomy from astrology, is that which teaches nations to desire and labour for the things that lead to life: and which teaches them to scorn and destroy the things that lead to destruction. And if, in a state of infancy, they supposed indifferent things, such as excrescences of shell-fish, and pieces of blue and red stone, to be valuable, and spent large measures of the labour which ought to be employed for the extension and ennobling of life, in diving or digging for them, and cutting them into various shapes,or if, in the same state of infancy, they imagine precious and beneficent things, such as air, light, and cleanliness, to be valueless,-or if, finally, they imagine the conditions of their own existence, by which alone they can truly possess or use anything, such, for instance, as peace, trust, and love, to be prudently exchangeable, when the markets offer, for gold, iron, or excresrences of shells — the great and only science of Political Economy teaches them, in all these cases, what is vanity, and what substance; and how the service of Death, the lord of Waste, and of eternal emptiness, differs from the service of Wisdom, the lady of Saving, and of eternal fulness; she who has said, “I will cause those that love me to inherit SUBSTANCE; and I will FILL their treasures.”

What do you think?

I know it may take quite some time to digest. But do give it the thoughts necessary. You may then just see things in a whole different perspective.

Here's a link to download the full e-book*:
http://www.forget-me.net/Ruskin/

*there's quite a few spelling errors in the book, but nothing beyond bearing.

--------

Update on 20070115, another quote:

THERE IS NO WEALTH BUT LIFE. Life, including all its powers of love, of joy, and of admiration. That country is the richest which nourishes the greatest number of noble and happy human beings; that man is richest who, having perfected the functions of his own life to the utmost, has also the widest helpful influence, both personal, and by means of his possessions, over the lives of others.

Annie Lenox - Dark Road

2008-01-07T02:55:00.000+08:00

i get teary when i saw this music video...

From Album - Songs of Mass Destruction
Dark Road Lyrics by Annie Lennox

IT'S A DARK ROAD
AND A DARK WAY THAT LEADS TO MY HOUSE
AND THE WORD SAYSYOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ME THERE, OH NO
I'VE GOT AN OPEN DOOR
IT DIDN'T GET THERE BY ITSELF
IT DIDN'T GET THERE BY ITSELF...

THERE'S A FEELIN'
BUT YOU'RE NOT FEELIN' IT AT ALL
THERE'S A MEANING
BUT YOU'RE NOT LISTENING ANYMORE
I LOOK AT THAT OPEN ROAD
I'M GONNA WALK THERE BY MYSELF...

UUUHHH...

AND IF YOU CATCH ME I MIGHT TRY TO RUN AWAY
YOU KNOW I CAN'T BE HERE TOO LONG
AND IF YOU LET ME I MIGHT TRY TO MAKE YOU STAY
SEEMS YOU NEVER REALISE A GOOD THING TILL IT'S GONE...

OOHH...
UUUHHH...
UUUHHH....

MAYBE I'M STILL SEARCHIN' BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS

ALL THE FIRES OF DESTRUCTION ARE STILL BURNIN' IN MY DREAMS
THERE'S NO WATER THAT CAN WASH AWAY THIS LONGIN' TO COME CLEAN...

HEY YEAH YEAH...
OOHH...
UUUHHH...
UUUHHH...

I CAN'T FIND THE JOY WITHIN IN MY SOUL
IT'S JUST SADNESS TAKIN' HOLD
I WANNA COME IN FROM THE COLD
AND MAKE MYSELF RENEWED AGAIN (I WANNA GO LIVIN ?? I WANNA COME RENEWED??) ????
IT TAKES STRENGTH TO LIVE THIS WAY (OOHH)
THE SAME OLD MADNESS EVERYDAY (NOOO)
I WANNA KICK THESE BLUES AWAY (KICK AWAY NOW)
I WANNA LEARN TO LIVE AGAIN

HEY HEY HEY
HEY HEY HEY

IT'S A DARK ROAD
AND A DARK WAY THAT LEADS TO MY HOUSE
AND THE WORD SAYS
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ME THERE OH NO
I'VE GOT AN OPEN DOOR
IT DIDN'T GET THERE BY ITSELF ..OOH
IT DIDN'T GET THERE BY ITSELF

exam results

2008-01-05T13:16:00.001+08:00

after 4 times of retaking, i passed...

"i will keep flying"

2007-12-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

The past weeks had been very tough, and it still is. I've taken more and more responsibility on my shoulder. But now, with me falling ill i can hardly get anything done, my blocked nose and coughing are really bothering me. Regardless, all i want is to make this world a better place, i will do all i can, i will keep going...

"O Lord, i count on You. To remind me over and over again of the strength You will always provide, the countless blessings and miracles that have kept me hoping, going."

Join Hands!

2007-12-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

In a world where rarity is of great value, competition has become the main basis of actions. Everyone is trying to outwit each other, trying to be as different as possible. Everyone wants to be the rare commodity: being the one and only one with such and such skills.

For some, this has become the only way to feel their own value, and make a statement of it to the public. To be outwitted will mean a lost of self-esteem and changes the way at which one looks at his/herself; with expectation of similar consequences from the eyes of public, on which one has long places his/her self value.

Not wanting this to happen, many seek to preserve their 'uniqueness', regardless of the means adopted. Hence born the various methods for keeping oneself abreast of others, while at the same time, keeping the rest where they are. The conclusive result being hindrance of development for all by all.

There is one word for Healthy Competition:
Cooperation

a letter to you

2007-12-03T21:32:00.000+08:00

Dear everyone,

Please accept my apologies. The number of 'requests (join this join that), actions (poke, hug, etc), etc.' on my facebook is just personally overwhelming. I can't respond to each and everyone. Hence, i will not respond to anything from facebook at all, with exception to 'messages'.

Among the reasons i signed up for an account at facebook was to research into its system, seeking on clarification of the term 'facebook life-style' that i came across in my readings. I came across the statement being in its negative implication, and so is my impression after being on facebook for some time.

Pardon my difference, but i was baffled upon receiving 'a hug' from someone who could as easily give me a REAL hug considering our vicinity! I'm not surprised then as to why some have portrayed how facebook lifestyle can be so detrimental. I appreciate the variety of connectivity features on facebook, yes, they're really good for connecting with friends who are no longer within hand reach, but for the others, please...

And look at the innumerable (to me) applications on facebook that kept many hooked online. The most annoying of all are those applications that require you to invite more and more people to join in. Thus my almost daily email inbox fuss from facebook. Clicking and clicking on each of those newly added applications in response to requests can be a substantial consumption of precious non-renewable time. The time which, if you ask me, i'd rather use to do something REAL.

I want you to know i'm really happy that online community and networking application has helped many to keep in touch with their otherwise long-lost acquittance, friends, and relatives. I share in this part of the experience and am reaping the benefits of it. My thank you to the developers and community. But i beg your consideration that some things ought to be real and sincere.

The same goes to friendster.

I seek your understanding.

Sincerely yours,
Ronald Chua

me studying "quantitative methods"

2007-11-28T16:51:00.000+08:00

Final exams coming in less than two weeks, and this is my last attempt at the "quantitative methods" paper. It's my 4^th retake (which is the max limit) and if i don't make it, good bye HUC!

art, life, computer

2007-11-26T10:27:00.001+08:00

Sifu showed me how to draw portrait during our lunch about 2 weeks ago. I had only the opportunity to test if i've really learned yesterday. Took less than 2 hours to draw the above, It's not perfect, but there's really a dramatic improvement in my drawing, to my own awe!

Also, when u think Linux can't get any better, it just did! I'm now running on Xubuntu. It gives me drop-shadow and real transparency effects without lagging my machine at all! And i'm running an old laptop: 32MB S3ProSavage video, 640MB RAM and 1.4GHz AMD Athlon. It even sped up my machine performance ^_^

IE stinks (again)

2007-11-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

Read here.
If you do web-design and coding, you will know how heart-wrenching it is whenever you see your hard work get deformed in IE, which means you have to go through your codes and fix what IE is not rendering, which means tonnes more unnecessary work and time, and sometimes settling for less-than-what-i-desire design and coding.

So there goes... I can't wait for SitePoint to finish their CSS Reference, so i will know where not to step on the poop, it stinks...

ien wallpaper #01

2007-11-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

http://iensstory.blogspot.com/

A pre-release wallpaper, 1024x768. Leave comments / feedbacks please please... (especially sifu!) ^^

PS: ah yes, it hatched much quickly than i thought it would, hehe.

*made purely with Inkscape and GIMP in Ubuntu

project ien

2007-11-22T02:06:00.001+08:00

announcing "project ien"

ien = implicit expressive norm

That egg will hatch slowly with my mood, hehe... But the design is as such you can see the egg hatch, if you know how to tweak the contrast, etc. to have a peek at what is coming out, why not give it a try? ~_^

PS: If you are using GIMP, then it's just about 3 clicks away.

Lions for Lambs

2007-11-19T04:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.lionsforlambsmovie.com/

Go watch that movie if u haven't. It's worth your every single second!

fancy dinner

2007-11-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

Guess guess guess?
and win yourself a designed-to-your-taste blogger template (with the codes!)*

*1st come 1st serve basis, friends and family only

new hair

2007-11-10T03:27:00.000+08:00

Mom did the haircut for me before she went back Indon on Tuesday. Today i was taking picture for my passport (save cost, hehe), so thought play play a bit with the hair. Nice or not ar??

Indon passport photo require red backdrop, so i had my my bro's red t-shirt and pinned it to the curtain and used it for the background, hehe. Don't mind ya bro since u ain't here to wear that shirt anyway. *grin*

This one is untouched. But used GIMP to smoothen out my pimples and brighten up my eyes black bags for the passport photo, haha, the advantage when u r a graphic designer! :P

PS: They say don't put your face on the internet, old myth... nowadays almost everyone has, like i care anyway...

Living in Malaysia

2007-11-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

Read: http://fiftyrefugees.wordpress.com/
You've heard of its peace, friendliness, beauty, etc. But have you heard this side of the story?
If these things are happening in a country like Malaysia, i wonder what is in Indonesia...

"Oh God, what a heartache you gave me. What do you want me to do? I see the paths, but how do i take all? How do i choose?"

the return

2007-10-24T01:00:00.000+08:00

I've just beamed down from my mothership after visiting planet XYZ in the past month. Anywayz, checked my email and found this interesting news from a friend. Enjoy!

my head...

2007-09-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

it hurts, it's throbbing with pain, sometimes it's just numbed... i hate it when it comes...

missed da class :(

2007-09-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

I was awakened (by unknown forces) at about 11am this morning. Missed out my 3 hours of morning class (9am-12pm). Sigh...the weight of the guilt is so heavy and disturbing...

2 weeks summed up...

2007-09-02T11:34:00.000+08:00

In reverse chronological order:

Merdeka week = 1st week of study commenced
Missed out 1st class on Monday morning, gratitudes to myself for not checking on the apparently updated timetable. The next class on the next day was rather fine. It was the expected usual HELP University College's style of class (yes, i'm stuck there and in pain). Had a 'memorable' Merdeka eve with the plan of going to Putrajaya to watch the Malaysia International Fireworks Competition cancelled. A last-minute plan of celebrating it at IKANO went astray as well. Ended up with a friend trying to break into his own car (he left all his keys inside, accidentally); the finale: called up a locksmith and he parted with his Ringgit. Anyway we had a very late night movie "The Invasion" (sucky movie, copycat of the Bio Hazard idea) and had breakfast at McD at about 5am. Slept for the rest of the day.

The week before Merdeka week
Conducted my first training on word processing and desktop publishing. It's a real mess. Someone who was supposed to prepare the equipments went missing uninformed. 2 participants arrived early, another 2 showed up late. My temper almost shot up through the ceilings for the lack of appreciation since i had put in so much time preparing for it (though lacking time). Well, since it's free training, it seemed it has been taken for granted. Apparently i should charge a fee next time! And so the 3 hours was quite a let down (lack of equipments, my lack of preparation, etc.). Feedback session was insightful and encouraging nevertheless. That will help to hone my delivery skills.

I don't remember which week, but this is what we did in the office at one of those overtime period where we just indulge in ourselves (in childish manner apparently):

oops...

2007-08-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

As much as i promised myself to leave Robby alone, i've been very tempted to do otherwise. I think i'll be breaking that promise :P

Anyway, due to the irresistible urge to play with that litlle creature i was googling around for specific way of taming a Roborovski. Found nice tips in this forum topic:
http://hamsterhideout.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=5988

Read that forum, and you will enrich yourself not only with the art of hamster taming, but also the bonus knowledge of why girls put tissue in their bra (and how hamsters relate to this), hehe... *grin*

Also, i bought that little extra attachment yesterday and filled it with sand. And finally today i was granted the glimpse of hamster sand-bathing. Not to mention quite a number of weird sleeping poses Robby has been doing (like the one in picture, so strange that he would lay down with that pose and stay still for some time). He seemed to really like that small space and has been spending more time in there than anywhere else doing mostly grooming, sleeping and other really weird things... i guess he has just experienced behavior enrichment...

Now... where shall i put my tissue???

Extremely Pretty Ubuntu!!

2007-08-18T04:52:00.000+08:00

When i switched to a Linux (Ubuntu), my expectation didn't go this far, not even close to what i've now! Look at how pretty a Linux machine can be! And best of all, there is no noticeable slowdown with the system! Yay!! ^o^

PS: I no longer wish for a Mac!

Buddha sculpture part1

2007-08-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm making a paperclay Buddha sculpture for my parents. Just finished sculpting the face. It took a couple of hours to get this one done. But i really enjoyed the meditative bliss i get while sculpting. Can't wait till it's ready to give to them ^_^

Robby's Escapade!

2007-08-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

Well, it is absolutely true that Roborovskis are very difficult to handle and is by no means meant for little hand-cuddling with. There is no need to question that statement of mine as i just had my first experience of a Roborovski escapade!

Of course, with the little hope i have, i wished i could have tamed little Robby. Thus i picked him up out of the cage (with his absolute reluctance). Unlike a Campbell dwarf hamster that tends to start plunging its teeth into your precious fingers, Roborovskis appear to be more avoidance in nature. Little Robby ran all he could to avoid my hand, though having a pinch of curiosity of sniffing it on rare occasions. Eventually he lost that little hide and seek session as he was soon in my hands.

The adventure began when i was picking up food from his bowl to hand to him. The moment one of my hands went away, so were my eyes, he jumped down to the floor (aware of this possibility, i held him low to avoid injuries from the fall). Alas, that was not enough. No, he was not injured. The moment he landed on the floor i have a fur ball bullet shooting across the room.

Getting back Robby was no easy matter. It was an hour plus of chasing and brainstorming to outwit him. From the living room to the toilet and the balcony! It's when he got to the balcony that my heart actually stopped beating for a moment. What if he falls all the way down from 9th floor where i live. I even almost had Robby grinded alive when i opened the sliding metal grille that lead to the balcony not aware that Robby is hiding beneath it.

When i slid the metal grille open a little, i sneaked my head out to see where Robby is. Seeing him nowhere my heart skipped a beat until i noticed a little speck of brownish fur just beneath the rolling part of the metal grille. My heart skipped many more beats as i tried to squeeze myself out to the balcony without sliding the grille further.

Outside, i squatted down and observed the little fur-like thing. Goodness, that's Robby! Praying hard, i tried poking gently at it with my finger. It moved a little when poked (glad he is still alive though possibly injured). I tried stroking the fur gently and immediately the fur ball bullet made its return at the balcony. Glad he is fine, a previous worry struck back. What if he falls down the balcony in the run?

I would have left him out with some nice treats and expect him to get trapped back in. But there was no way i could leave him out at the balcony with the risk of him falling down to a certain doom out of his curious nature of exploring and climbing when left to his own. I didn't know how i did it, but eventually i got him cornered enough till he jumped back into his own cage (which by that time i have already settled down on the balcony floor).

Minutes later he is back to running on his wheel without any symptoms of stress or shock (of which i'm experiencing the human's way). Hamsters and other animals are prone to sickness and death when they are stressed. Thank goodness he seems fine! Else i would have no idea how i would bear the loss of yet another hamster. Praise the Lord!

I promised myself never to try handling little Robby again! I'd rather leave him living his life to the fullest in his own peace.

Little Robby

2007-08-13T22:07:00.001+08:00

After reading this book on dwarf hamsters plus contemplating for (very) few days, i convinced myself that i'm ready to give these cute adorable little creatures another chance (ok, i mean i gave myself the excuse to keep a pet). Past experience had not been good. If i recall correctly, there had been 4 casualties in my ownership of these tiny ones.

And so there goes, after trips to a couple florists with mom at the local Chinatown, my turn came to hunt down this pet in the same area. Alas, none befits what was my presently picky taste.

Following mom's recommendation we took a little time at a Brickfields pet shop to look for one. In mom's recommended shop, they no longer sell little pets of the kind. And so we turned to its neighbor. An externally apparently run-down shop selling all sorts of, well... birds... (imagine the smell).

But there it is, an aquarium filled with about a dozen of Russian dwarves (hamsters i mean), and another with Syrians. Again, none befits the taste. Pushing my luck i asked if there are any Roborovskis. To my amusement the Malay (i think) guy pulled out an aquarium, cube shaped sizing not more than a foot each side from the dark bottom of the rack. There inside three Roborovskis skipping on top of each other, for such is their funny restless nature.

After 15 minutes drive in a dark paperbag, and another 10 minutes as i arrive home and prepare his new place, here is little Robby:

Initially he was rather quiet, exploring his new home.. then he took an hour of nap (got me worried). But soon after, he is indulging his food, running around, playing with his running wheel and whatever else he can find. I think he is happy to have switched from a tiny square with another 2 to a spacious Habitrail Mini set of his own :)

The Dentist part2

2007-08-11T05:58:00.000+08:00

Had more drillings and needle pricking. The after-effect hurts so much that i can't sleep at all... the left side of my head kept throbbing with the pain... T_T

One more treatment to go in next two weeks, and i hope there will be no more...EVER!

Pretty Ubuntu

2007-08-07T13:11:00.000+08:00

Who says a Linux machine can't be pretty? On a slow laptop like mine, it is absolutely pretty and functional with instantaneous mouse click response (something that does not happen when i'm on windows). I'm very happy with it ^_^

The Dentist

2007-08-04T15:55:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a visit to the dentist. It's been a decade since my last visit and it was quite nerving to once again be subject to probing, drilling and whatnots. Nothing much in particular worthy of mention here except for a few things...

One, the nurse, a nice Malay lady with headscarf. She is no graduate from any nursing school, she graduated from an agama (religion) school in Kajang. But she performed really well in assisting the lady dentist. Who needs a cert anyway if one can do just as well without?

Second, both that dentist and the nurse. As i was in for some root canal treatment, it was quite a long session. At one point of time, the dentist looked up at the ceiling at the point where i've been staring at all along. Obvious as it is, there is nothing of interest up there. She then looked back at the nurse across that 'drilling chair' (where i lay helplessly gaping open) and from behind her surgical mask exchanged rather cute gentle giggles of amusement.

Curious as my nature, i inquired if she usually have patients closing eyes as she conduct her duties in their mouth. Well, apparently some do, and some others just stare blankly at a point or object in the room. And... er... what was their little amusement about then? Was it my zip?? x_X

Anyway, there goes RM600++ in less than 2 hours...

Yes! to Ubuntu

2007-07-27T15:15:00.000+08:00

Persistence does bear fruit!

I went through Ubuntu forum and found a solution to my WiFi issue. All i had to do was enter the following command in the GNOME-Terminal:


sudo wlanctl-ng wlan0 lnxreq_ifstate ifstate=enable
sudo wlanctl-ng wlan0 lnxreq_autojoin ssid="" authtype=opensystem
sudo iwconfig
sudo dhclient wlan0

And the wireless starts to function seamlessly ^_^

Then i prepared a text file containing the above command which i will run in the GNOME-Terminal to enable the WiFi everytime i turn on the computer.

And this post has been made through wireless Ubuntu ~_^

PS: i finally disabled the WEP security on my WiFi router, now my wireless internet is open to all in vicinity to share ^^

Not quite...Ubuntu...

2007-07-26T03:00:00.000+08:00

Spent hours backing up data into 13 CD-Rs (this is the time when i wish for a DVD burner drive or a nice spacious external hard disk). Inserted the Ubuntu Live CD, repartitioned hard drive using its GNOME Gparted:

Old
Drive A: 25GB (NTFS) - Windows XP Home Edition
Drive B: 15GB (NTFS) - My Documents

New
Drive A: 25GB (NTFS) - Windows XP Home Edition
Drive B: 9GB (FAT32) - My Documents, shared space with Ubuntu
Drive C: 1GB (swap) - Linux swap memory, not visible
Drive D: 5GB (ext3) - Ubuntu

If you have noticed, i now run a dual boot system, getting to choose between XP or Ubuntu at boot up. Ubuntu install went fine, with one exception. I could not access the internet with Ubuntu. My network chipsets are rather 'rare' and unsupported. That is what i get from buying 'special deal' laptop, only to figure out later that it is a model they stopped manufacturing, they were trying to clean it off the shelf.

Anyway, i could not have made it with Ubuntu alone. There is no Linux driver for Creative PC-MIDI keys i own. So i am stuck with Windows for that. Sigh...

Well, will use Ubuntu for doing work only (minus the internet) since it is so much smoother and faster (and i think it is prettier and more ergonomic as well). It is still useful anyway :)

Ubuntu's time

2007-07-24T03:16:00.000+08:00

Stress level has been insanely high. First with having to find a new university since HELP University College has been such a terrible let down. Second my laptop living near its age, running Windows XP Home Edition that is simply getting buggier and buggier over time.

Currently downloading Ubuntu. Will be scrapping off Microsoft once and for all tomorrow as i advance to the wonderful world of FOSS. Another step away sick from world of capitalism! Away from the selfish greed of profit making capitalists! Scram!

PS: Some capitalists are very good, they do things ethically and direct their profits to good causes. Thus I am NOT referring to ALL capitalists, just the you-know-who capitalists.

"Reading Together"

2007-07-21T02:21:00.001+08:00

Finalized another piece. The same hand-sculpted paperclay with gloss vernish. That pineapple-like thing there is so going to get 'melted' when i sculpt next time; retiring for a while as i study for social research methods class.

In the background is a loyal laptop of mine. 2years+, bought with intention of doing office work only; ended up doing all sorts of heavy duty graphic design (even 3D renderings!). I wonder how long more that can bear me overtasking it. Been very tempted to install Linux recently hoping it would work better.

Hm... i like miniatures.

greed's stupidity

2007-07-20T16:41:00.000+08:00

I received the following email in my spam inbox moments ago:

from : Yahoo/Microsoft Online Promo
reply-to : yahmicrosoft_moriscole@yahoo.co.uk
to : info@microsoft.co.uk
date : Jul 20, 2007 1:42 PM
subject : Urgent Notification **You Won**
mailed-by: bellsouth.net

Dear Winner,

Batch number......................YM09102XN
Reff number.......................YM35447XN
Winning number....................YM0988
This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Five hundred
thousand, Great Britain Pound Sterlings(£500,000.00) for the month of
July 2007 Lottery promotion which is organized by Microsoft
LOTTERY INC & WINDOWS LIVE.

Microsoft & Windows Live, collects all the email addresses of
the people that are active online, among the millions
that subscribed to internet email we only select five people every
Month as our winners through electronic balloting System without the
winner applying,we congratulate y ou for being one of the people
selected.

These numbers fall within your Location file, you are requested to
contact the events manager, send your winning identification numbers to
him,to enable him verify your claims.How ever you will have to fill and
submit this form to the events manager for verification & direction on
how you can claim your winning fund.

1. Full name.............. 2. Con tact Address........
3. Age.................... 4. Telephone Number.......
5. Marital Status......... 6. Sex....................
7. Next Of Kin............ 8. Zip Code...............
9. Occupation............. 10.Company................
11.State:................. 12.Country................
13.Nationality............ 14.Your Reference and Batch number are at
the top of this mail:

(CONTACT EVENTS MANAGER)
Name: Mr .Morris Cole
Email: yahmicrosoft_moriscole@yahoo.co.uk

Thank you and Accept my hearty congratulations once again!!!
Yours faithfully,
Elias Green.
Lottery Co-ordinator.
(Microsoft Lottery Games/Lottery Coordinator).

Yea...right... a grand prize announcement from a techy company like microsoft/yahoo... with such small sum that they don't even have the brain to send out link to security protected webforms for prize claims.

It's just a plain pain in the butt to see how far people are willing to go to make profits. Scams!

Can't these people see that there is so much more to life than just making money?

Building Website With Blogger

2007-07-19T18:48:00.001+08:00

Possible? Absolutely!

Check out one i'm currently working on:
http://synthesis-friends.blogspot.com/

Will post more about it later :)

Giving God Our Best

2007-07-15T14:54:00.000+08:00

July 15, 2007

READ: 1 Chronicles 22

The house to be built for the LORD must be exceedingly magnificent. —1 Chronicles 22:5

About this cover

We had rehearsed the song for several weeks, and it sounded good. But there was one tricky section that we just couldn’t get right. We were ready to call it good enough. Our choir director seemed to agree. He too was weary of rehearsing the same few measures over and over.

Finally he said, “We’ve worked hard on this. You’re tired. I’m tired. We’re running short on time. And 99 percent of the people won’t know whether or not we sing it right.” As we started to put away our music, he continued, “But we’re going to sing it right for the 1 percent who know the difference.” We groaned as we reopened our music to the rumpled page.

On Sunday morning when we sang it right, few people knew. But that didn’t matter. What really mattered was that we were singing from our heart for an audience of One—One who deserves excellent praise.

King David wanted an “exceedingly magnificent” house built for the Lord (1 Chronicles 22:5). So before he died, he made sure his son Solomon had everything he needed to build the temple—an abundance of gold, silver, bronze, iron, timber, stone, and skilled craftsmen (vv.14-15).

Whatever we do, our audience of One deserves our very best. —Julie Ackerman Link

O worship the King,
All glorious above,
And gratefully sing
His power and His love. —Grant

When we worship God, only our best is good enough.

*Taken from http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb-07-15-07.shtml

Praise You in This Storm

2007-07-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

Casting Crowns
words by Mark Hall
music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

*Taken from http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/
Praise-you-in-this-storm-lyrics-Casting-Crowns/
1299620F9241AA074825707000090A78

"Dancing Fairy"

2007-07-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

Finalized this sculpture today. Hand-sculpted paperclay, with gloss vernish finishing.

I wonder if there has been any record yet for the smallest paperclay sculpture...

re-Defining

2007-07-05T14:01:00.000+08:00

In present days, i believe some definitions in the dictionary need to be revised. Here is a start:

scholar
1 a learned person (especially in the humanities); someone who by long study has gained mastery in one or more disciplines; someone possessing certificate(s) from university(-ies) or any known educational institution(s) regardless of the means to gaining it.

"Scholar." Def. 1. WordNet. Princeton University. 5 July 2007. <http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=scholar⊂
=Search+WordNet&o2=&o0=1&o7=&o5=&o1=1&o6=&o4=&o3=&h=00>.

*definition in green need to be added

Feel free to add more of yours.

Fix missing blogger navbar

2007-07-02T02:24:00.006+08:00

Yikes, after 3 times of migration i finally settle down here at blogger. Still being a newbie here, i encountered the issue of missing blogger navbar after custom theming it. I don't seem to be able to google a fix for it though, so figured it out myself. Here goes the solution:

<!-- working fix for missing blogger navbar -->
<!-- blogger navbar -->
<div class='navbar section' id='navbar'>
<div class='widget Navbar' id='Navbar1'>
<iframe frameborder='0' height='30px' id='navbar-iframe' marginheight='0' marginwidth='0' scrolling='no' src='http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=###################&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=TAN&amp;layoutType=LAYOUTS&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fmyblogname.blogspot.com%2F&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2F

myblogname

.blogspot.com%2Fsearch' width='100%'/>
<div id='space-for-ie'/>
</div ></div >
<!-- blogger navbar end -->
<!-- end working fix for missing blogger navbar -->

In your "Template", under "Edit HTML", just copy and paste the code above right below the <body> tag. Then replace the following values respectively:

################### -> Replace this with your BlogID number, to get it point your cursor at the "New Post" button when you are logged in to your blog. Right click on it and choose "Copy Link Location" then paste the link location somewhere (empty text document like "notepad" maybe). You should get something like "http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1231231231231231231". Those numbers there are your BlogID.

myblogname -> Replace this with your blog name that appear on your blog URL (address).

And voilà!

For those wanting to get rid of the blogger navbar instead, just add the code below above the #header-wrapper line:

#navbar-iframe {height: 0px; display: none;}

Do know you will be losing the convenience of your blog search and log-in, post, customize directly from your blog URL site if you remove the navbar.

UPDATE (30 January 2010)
The codes above has been fixed and should be working now. Sorry i've been missing out on the post.